true love is when he ignores you

Myth or Fact? True Love Is When He Ignores You

Even the most intense feelings cease when neglected and taken for granted.” – Anupama Garg, writer and public speaker

For women, being ignored is one of the most confusing and overwhelming feelings that they can experience in a relationship. Women often defend their relationships with the saying, “True love is when he ignores you.” But does this axiom have any substance and should it be used to rationalize being ignored?

Where Does This Saying Come from? Is There Any Truth to It?

Saying Come from

The saying, “True love is when he ignores you,” is often said in hopes that the other person genuinely cares for the partner who is being mistreated despite outward signs that say otherwise. Based on their perspective, their partners’ inability to shower them with attention is a sign of love. Their partners just don’t know how to show it.

Many people believe that love and a strong relationship entail receiving attention from their partners. Meanwhile, others are content with partners who neglect them. Ultimately, however, a good relationship is typically characterized by:

• Healthy communication
• Mutual trust and respect
• The ability to establish healthy boundaries and independence
• Partners who have fun when they’re together
• Kindness
• Commitment to one another
• Support and care for each other

Whether or not he ignores you, if you’re not getting these from your relationship, something could be fundamentally wrong.

3 Reasons Why Your Partner May Be Ignoring You

Ignoring You

Understanding why your partner is ignoring you can help you process the situation objectively without allowing your emotions to get the best of you. Here are common and likely reasons why you’re being ignored.

#1. Your guy needs space and time apart.

Relationships are great opportunities to become intimate with someone but there are instances when you need your personal space. If you’re together almost every minute and do everything together, you or your partner may be losing their sense of freedom and individuality.

Sometimes, you may feel ignored because your partner is feeling lost, overwhelmed, and stressed. Like you, they also need their personal space and time to work through their feelings. Hence, your partner may be ignoring you to establish boundaries.

Try to remember any changes in your relationship before he started ignoring you. Did you have any disagreements or a difference in your schedules and routines? Could you have been spending an excessive amount of time together?

Your partner’s behavior may be his way of coping and trying to figure things out, especially since men aren’t naturally inclined to discuss issues.

#2. Your partner is experiencing challenges outside of your relationship.

The reality is that your man also has a life, responsibilities, and problems that don’t involve you. Unconsciously, your partner may be ignoring you as he tries to come up with solutions or further comprehend other aspects of his life that don’t concern you.

There might be issues at work, personal problems that involve family or close friends, or he could be struggling with life in general. This happens to everyone, including your partner. Remember that everyone deals and copes with life’s difficulties differently, so don’t make it more difficult for him. Instead, act with empathy and understanding.

#3. Your partner may be considering ending the relationship.

This is the least of the reasons you’d want to accept. Ignoring you can be your partner’s way of testing your love, patience, and understanding. If your man ignores you for far too long without any explanations or efforts to shed light on what’s happening, it may be his way of telling you that he’s getting tired of the relationship and would like to end it.

Unfortunately, too many men prefer to wait for their partners initiate the difficult task of breaking up. They will push all your buttons and give you all sorts of reasons so you’ll be forced to call it quits.

This is a hurtful, immature, and lengthy approach that can leave you bitter, frustrated, and even angry. If your man refuses to communicate with you and work through your problems, you may have to pull the trigger for him. But the good news is you can leave the toxic relationship and start anew with someone who is emotionally more mature.

Before you make any major decisions about your relationship, let’s take a look at how you can get to the bottom of your guy’s behavior.

How to Deal with a Guy Who Ignores You

Deal with a Guy

It’s difficult to be in a position where you want to be a supportive partner but your significant other can’t seem to reciprocate. Over time, being ignored can be depressing and negatively influence your outlook on life.

So, what should you do if you’re partner continuously ignores you?

#1. Talk to your guy.

When you start having this conversation with your partner, it’s important that you don’t come across as accusing, intimidating, or confrontational. Your goal is not to point fingers but to understand what’s happening while expressing your hurt and confusion.

Having this conversation can make or break your relationship, so approach it with sensitivity, care, and an open mind. There are only two possible outcomes of this conversation: you agree to compromises and continue with the relationship or end it altogether.

Since you want to avoid the latter, focus on communicating openly without judgment. Remember that this needs to be a two-way conversation. Adjust if necessary, but remain truthful. Be open to any feedback that might have triggered the behavior and be ready to accept fault if there is any.

#2. Understand the situation from his point of view.

It’s good to focus on your feelings and thoughts so he understands you but do the same for him. Encourage him to trust you and open up to you so you can see things from his perspective.

If you don’t agree with his point of view, don’t force the issue. Instead, ask what you can do to resolve the situation. Remember, it takes two to make a relationship work. After understanding the reasons why he was ignoring you (even if it doesn’t make sense to you just yet), work on what you can do moving forward.

#3. Work on a solution as a couple rather than as individuals.

You may have quick fixes in mind to prevent your guy from ignoring you again. Still, your partner should be willing to compromise and work with you. If not, all your effort will be wasted and one-sided, leaving you more frustrated and angry.

Strive to agree on a solution that you’re both willing to commit to. Have another conversation several weeks later so you can address other things that may need to be changed. Think of it as a work-in-progress solution and expect things to return to normal over time.

Frequently Asked Questions

#1. Is being ignored by your partner normal?

Yes, being ignored by your partner is normal, however, it shouldn’t always be the case and must not be used to manipulate you. If you’ve noticed an unhealthy pattern where your partner routinely ignores you for trivial reasons, it may be time to reassess how you communicate with each other and your relationship. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t become an unhealthy way to regularly deal with problems and issues.

#2. Can you continue a relationship with your partner after being ignored by him?

Yes, you can. There are instances when you can cultivate a stronger and healthier bond with each other by dealing with how you tackle relationship issues such as being ignored. If you’re both willing to talk and resolve the issue, the behavior can be another milestone you deal with in your long-term relationship.

#3. Is ignoring you a test that your guy puts you through?

There are instances when a man may test how committed you are to him by consciously ignoring you. Some men believe that if a woman truly loves the man, she will fight and exert every possible effort to get their attention.

But remember that there are better and more mature ways to handle your relationship. Instead of promoting frustration and mistrust, individuals should talk about their insecurities and look at ways to resolve them in healthier ways.

Listen to your partner, communicate how his behavior makes you feel, and share positive feedback with him. If these measures fail to work and you’re both unhappy, accept the fact that it may be time to part ways.


A partner who ignores you can be tricky to handle. It may or may not be due to something you’ve done. At times, your significant other may not even be conscious of his behavior because it’s how he normally deals with difficulties. The key to restoring your relationship is communication.

While showing empathy and understanding, let him know that you care about him and that his behavior is hurting you. Someone who cares about you will be willing to put in the effort to make your relationship work.

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